No Nag Nirvana

Yes, wouldn’t that be like heaven? You walk around the house and without saying a word, backpacks, toys and clothes are picked up…dishes are cleared off the table and towels are hung back on the towel rack. Dirty clothes actually go into the dirty clothes basket and you no longer walk into the kitchen to find cupboard doors open, juice cartons and half full glasses on the counter, as well as spills and broken chips abandoned on the floor. Like a dream, right? It’s something you can’t imagine really happening. Well, it can – and it will – in your home!

I had had it with my two eleven-year old boys this summer. It didn’t matter how much I nagged and nagged, the place was always a mess. Six pairs of underwear on the bathroom floor, new clean towels used for every shower and left in the bedroom, ten glasses a day left on the counter half full. I couldn’t possibly clean up their messes as fast as they made them – and I didn’t want to. They were perfectly capable of taking responsibility for themselves. I have no doubt they didn’t get away with that kind of behavior at school!

So along came the NAG TAGS. They get one free reminder and then a NAG TAG for every reminder after that. I hang them on a magnet clip next to their photo on the refrigerator door. Three NAG TAGS in a day and they lose all “screen” privileges for 24 hours. That means TV, video games, AND the computer (except for homework). It’s great, I don’t have to say a word anymore. I just walk around holding a red NAG TAG in my hand and smile as I watch them scurry around cleaning everything up. I love it! It’s so easy.

So, Dylan suggested a FREE NAG PASS if they go all day without a single NAG TAG. It can be used to cancel out a NAG TAG and they can hold onto them for the whole week. I also added the NO NAG STAR if they go the entire week without a NAG TAG. The reward is skipping one chore the following week.

Downloads for NAG TAGS are free for members of the Five-in-One Family Fun Program. Check it out at www.operationhappyhome.com. And join me in NO NAG Nirvana.

The Power of Unexpected Kindness

The idea of Door Knob Drops came from my sister, Teri, who lives with her two boys in Moraga, California. One year there were several kids on their street that were graduating from some school or another; sixth grade, eighth grade or twelfth grade. Teri and her boys put together some very simple treats with envelopes, ribbon and homemade cookies. They congratulated each of the kids for their accomplishments with a handwritten card and dropped the surprise “gift baskets” off by hanging them on the front door knob – without being noticed. The response Teri got (as neighbors figured out who had left the sweet treats) was overwhelming. The children were especially touched that someone outside their family and circle of friends noticed and cared.

That’s all we really want – to be noticed, to feel important, to know that other people care about us. The little things really are the big things. We work so hard to buy a beautiful big house and the fancy car and all the “things” we think will impress the neighbors. Everyone’s busy trying to show they are better: more successful, more fun, more organized, a better cook, coach, or parent. We do this thinking people will like us more, but all it really does is put up a wall between us. The littlest gestures can bring down those walls and connect us in a way that is so much more satisfying than having the “biggest” or being the “best.”

The kindest gesture you can make is to let someone know you appreciate them. So we used our Gratitude DoorKnob Drops to introduce ourselves to our neighbors and thank them for being great neighbors. We included a sheet to fill in with information about their family and bring to our potluck dinner (with a photo) so that I could make a “neighborhood directory” for each home. We added leaf-shaped sugar cookies and some Golden Lists for their Thanksgiving and dropped them off. The boys thoroughly enjoyed the whole process.

That’s the best part of the lesson here. Teaching my kids to enjoy the joy they bring to others without getting any credit or recognition for it.

We also decided to hang our Gratitude Door Knob Drops on the back of our chairs for Thanksgiving dinner, and fill them with the Bingo Trivia Cards, Bingo button sacks and Golden Lists.

We have so much to be grateful for.

What Would You Do?

Last night my boys, Dylan and Travis, were helping me cut out Bingo Boards and put together Bingo Button sacks. It was really late and I was trying to get everything photographed for this first Five in One Family Fun email. Normally they go to bed by 9:15 but it was 9:30 and I hadn’t even made dinner yet. I had promised twice baked potatoes (their favorite) and shrimp sautéed in garlic and shallots. All I had done so far was bake the potatoes. So, I asked the boys to help make the dinner and they put on the onion-chopping goggles and went to work. They were doing a great job chopping shallots, grating cheese and de-shelling the shrimp (accompanied by their own food network commentary), so I went upstairs to input photographs into the computer. When I came back down they were throwing shrimp shells at each other and it was a mess. I still keep finding shells everywhere: behind the mixer, inside a cup in the cupboard and behind the recipe books.

We are very excited about the Family Trivia Bingo. This year, for the first time, we have been invited to have Thanksgiving with another family that we are not all that familiar with. The Trivia Bingo will be perfect to help us break the ice and get to know each other better. My boys helped me choose some of the questions and we were having fun thinking of amusing answers. My favorite is “What would you do if you were invisible? I know it will stimulate some great (and telling) comments. We asked a friend of mine and he said, without hesitation, “Hide in the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader locker room.” I am definitely going to save these “mini-keepsakes.” If we’re thoughtful about the questions we ask every year, we will eventually have the equivalent of a memoir for everyone. How cool is that? I think this game is going to bring a lot of laughter into a lot of living rooms. I’ll let you now how it goes for us.

Martha Stewart With Soul

Ten years ago I was fascinated with the Martha Stewart phenomenon. How did she sell so many expensive, time-consuming products that take you away from your family (decorating cookies for 5 hours) instead of bringing you closer, which is what everyone really wants. I spent a good deal of time thinking about that question until I realized that décor and food are the two things that we instinctively associate with creating a warm inviting happy home. It’s natural for us to want to buy anything related to food and décor. So that is the point at which I decided to give women what they really want – through Once Upon A Family – tips and tools that help us bring our families closer. Since décor is such a no-brainer, all we have to do is weave those meaningful traditions and activities into our holiday décor and we can give our families what they need most.

Every month I will be putting together, and sharing with you, my own personal holiday table décor that matches the Five-in-One Family Fun idea downloads. I hope you will enrich your family holidays with some of these ideas that are not only pretty, but will also make planning get-togethers easier and create some family fun at the same time. When it comes to holiday table décor, I have three bits of advice:

1. Keep your linens and dinnerware basic and simple. You don’t need to spend money buying themed tablecloths or dishes with Thanksgiving leaves or reindeer patterns. You will only use them once a year, anyway. Bring out your white or ivory tablecloths and buy 1 1/3 yards of small textured prints and hem them into 45” squares that you can overlap onto the center of any size table. Use solid napkins or make them out of a fun print that fits the holiday colors but is not a themed pattern. Use solid dishes in ivory, white, red or gold. They are great year around and you can mix them together when you have a large crowd.

2. Create your themed holiday look with inexpensive decorative pieces like the strand of leaves I bought on sale at Joanne’s Fabrics for $2.99. That was enough to wrap around 4 hurricane candle vases, which I found at world market for only 3.99 each. The candles and vases can be used all year and it’s trendy right now to fill the vases around the candle with small items like hazelnuts, dried corn, cranberries, etc. The great thing is that I can save the decorative items in a box and bring them out next Thanksgiving – saving me time and money every year. At the same time I am giving my family what they need: the comfort and security of traditions that repeat themselves over and over again.

3. Make one of your family traditions a part of the centerpiece. The things we do together year after year – our family traditions – create the memories that connect us forever. Decorative visuals are just as powerful as holiday tastes and smells in bringing back vivid memories of good times spent together. Hang your Thankful Leaves on a Thankful Tree such as the Once Upon a Family Tree you see in the photograph. Or make your own tree with simple dried branches in a vase with stemmed berries. A potted plant will also work very nicely.

By combining holiday decorating ideas with the meaningful Five-in-One Family Fun downloads, we bring to you a little “Martha Stewart with Soul.”

The Truth about Children

The truth about children: They really are uncivilized little beings, whose main objective is to find ways to get what they want. And that’s normal. We expect them to pop out of the womb with a built-in sense of what’s right and wrong and are often disappointed, shocked and embarrassed when our precious little ones begin to scream, hit, bite, rebel, lie and steal.

But, like I said, that’s normal. What’s NOT normal is the perfect little angel who never does any of those things. How children behave has more to do with how much they want to please you than whether they are inherently “good.”

So, it’s our job, as parents, to civilize them. It’s up to us to turn them into respectful, responsible, honest and caring adults. That’s easier said than done, especially today when we are all so busy, and there are so many negative influences in our children’s lives. That makes our job ten times harder than it was for our parents. More work, less time. And it’s not like we can just slide by, hoping it will happen on it’s own. I can promise you it will not.

Many parents expect teachers to do this job for them. And the teachers do their best, but are often frustrated because they need the support at home to really make an impact. We need to be intentional and work together to raise G-rated kids in this X-rated world. What’s the solution?

With so little time in our dizzybusy schedules, we need quick, simple ways (and tools) to accomplish this very important task. The happyhome habits provide the solid foundation you need – find out more about them on www.happyhomeclubonline.com You will also find free downloadable Activities to help introduce simple character education concepts to your family as ‘Family Fun Time.’

Building a New Family Consciousness

Welcome to the official blog of Lorle Campos, author of  two books, The Little Things are the Big Things and more recently happyhome: a family’s guide to finding balance in a dizzybusy world.  Complete with interesting statistics, real life stories, five pull-out activities and a personality test to identify your style of connecting, this surprisingly simple, but remarkably powerful book will become a trusted reference for families everywhere who want to create a happyhome for their loved ones.

Lorle is CEO and founder of Once Upon a Family, a company dedicated to providing tools and products with heart to strengthen families, inside and out. You can find some of the amazing products created by Lorle at www.onceuponafamily.com

In addition to Once Upon a Family, Lorle started a social network at www.happyhomeclubonline.com for parents to find family fun activities, access tools for tradition and legacy building, and create a safe place to meet others of like mind while sharing their family stories. The online social network is the home of the happyhome Challenge, a 3-month series of fun activities for families to put the 5 simple ideas from the book into practice.  Participants can earn a free happyhome Hero Kit, products from Once Upon a Family valued at over $100.

Operationhappyhome.com is a media site focusing on information distribution about family life and solutions for busy families, with articles for reprinting in electronic newsletters and other media sites. In addition, information about both happyhome-sponsored workshops and workshop/teaching materials for educators and ministries are available there.

As a working mother of five for close to 30 years, Lorle knows first hand how hard it is to find that comfortable balance between work, family and personal needs. We know what we want for our families: loving connections, strong family values, and happy holiday memories. For most of us, life has become too much: too fast, too busy and too stressful. Our world feels like it is spinning out of control – dizzybusy. There seems to be little time left to connect as a family.  The tools and products Lorle has developed support families in creating the loving, safe haven we all need at home.

Lorle is available for keynote speaking, Family Life workshops and executive coaching. For fees and availability, contact us at info@operationhappyhome.com